Bully Schmully

Bully Schmully
Patricia Gaile Cotaoco and Mary Ruth Navarra
The Philippine Star
Special Section
May 31, 2002


Bullies come in different forms and sizes. Some of them begin at an early age, maybe even in preschool. Why they become bullies can be because of various reasons, but whatever it is, it's not an excuse for you to become the butt end of their destructive ways.

Thin, bespectacled kids whose bags are bigger and heavier than they are, are the usual targets. Bullies usually push these kids around, grab their lunch boxes, steal their candy, or pull their hair. Not because they are in love with them, but because they just want to see them suffer. Why they enjoy such sadistic actions still eludes many confused parents. Worse, this causes lifetime trauma to their victims.

You can probably scare them by saying “Magagalit si Papa Jesus!” But they'll just laugh off this futile effort. Then you have no choice but to run to your teacher and tell her the most exaggerated story against your nemesis. Remember the saying, “don't get mad, get even”? This is a matter of survival. Live by this rule. Here are a few tips to get even with school bullies.

• Do a little research. Who knows, you might find out that he only changes his underwear once a week. Or if you're lucky enough, you might find out that his mommy still calls him “Coochie coo.”
• Take every opportunity. If you get assigned as a referee during PE, call a foul against him or his team. After all, the referee's decision is final.
• Another rule to live by: if you can't beat them, join them. If your stuff gets lost because of these thieves, then take theirs as well (just think of it as bartering of goods). Just don't get caught.
• To get back at those extortionists, buy some stuff that are sure hot buys and sell it to them double the price. Practice your sales talk to them, assuming they're silly enough to believe you. Soon, you will be the richest kid in campus.
• You can likewise take your sweet revenge by accidentally dropping their stuff near wet and disgusting areas.

If you're foolish enough to follow the rules, we're sure that you will pass adolescence with flying colors. However, you must be prepared to face some dire consequences. Or you can follow the age-old rule of ignoring these bullies and just wait for karma to strike them in their heads.

After all, temperance is your sole proof of intellect and maturity.